I am in an impossible situation and really have nowhere to turn. If you have any advice, experience, or suggestions please let me know!
I have been dating my boyfriend (let's call him Steven) for about two and a half years, but we have lived together for just under a year. He is absolutely wonderful, he treats me like a queen and I could not picture a better person to spend my life with. However, my sexual attraction to him has gone from dwindling to practically non-existent within this past year of living together. He is a great looking guy and whereas I used to find him very sexy, I now just look at him as my best friend who I sometimes sleep with, rather than my lover that is also my best friend.
Insert issue number two: I am, however, incredibly attracted to someone else, let's call him Michael. We dated briefly in college but went home for summer vacation and both came back with significant others; basically we have always had strong chemistry and been great friends, but our timing has never been right. I have been seeing Michael (who is not dating anyone now) a lot lately when we are out with mutual friends, and when Steven was away this past weekend, I saw a lot of Michael. There was absolutely no cheating but it was clear to both of us that the attraction was very much still there, and I began to fill giddy again. I have not been so excited and attracted to someone in so long and I am having serious doubts about the relationship that I am currently in with Steven. Michael and I have talked and I have asked him to please give me my time to figure out what I need for MYSELF - and it very well may not include him. But I haven't slept in five days and my stomach is in knots, he's constantly in my dreams and in my head at all times.
After my fabulous (but no cheating!) weekend, I told Steven that I was having doubts and that I was unhappy. He was shocked and devastated, asking me what more he could do, what did I need from him, he would give me whatever I wanted. This only made me feel more guilty. I just cannot stand to hurt him because he truly deserves a woman who loves him 100% - and I don't know if I am that person anymore.
I've spoken to a lot of my older and married friends, who tell me that around the 2 1/2 year mark comes the "disillusionment phase" where you have to make a real effort to care about your significant other...and that if I leave Steven for Michael, 2 1/2 years into a relationship with Michael I will be in the exact same position.
I wake up every day with my mind set to "tell Steven it's really over" and go to bed in Steven's arms telling myself that I am crazy to leave such a good man. I know the only person who can really decide what to do is me, but any suggestions/advice/ANYTHING would truly be appreciated.
Both are GREAT guys - who would have ever thought that deciding between two great guys would be so heartbreaking?